What Do I Want To Be When I Grow Up

Turning 30 last year was hard. Not in the sense that I was 30 and OMG but in the fact that I was turning 30 and had no friggin idea what I wanted to do, or be. I am a mother and a wife but for personal empowerment; I definately don't see myself being a Closing Manager.

You see I "fell" into Real Estate at the age of 16 (my mom was a Real Estate agent and now works in commercial construction, my dad a welder).

I went to high school for a few hours and left after 3 classes to go to work; I still earned credits and was working as a receptionist at a Real Estate office. I worked their part time Wednesday through Sunday; it was boring for the most part but it enabled me to teach myself computers, programs etc...I worked my way up to Office Manager and then left to work at a Mortgage Company that pursued me.

After being there for 1.5 years I became pregnant at the age of 20 to my now husband who was 9 years older and was a stock broker. He was an established stock broker and loved what he did...and still does...meanwhile after the birth of my first child and only being 21, I went back to school for a few classes; but let's face it...still had no friggin clue what I wanted to do.

I decided to go back to work after staying home for 2 years and went to work for a home builder doing Land Acquisition; I had no idea what to do but had the Real Estate background, knew contracts and therefore thrived...few years later a Head Hunter contacted me and I went to work for a Home Builder handling closings...I was there 5 years and then the market turned...I got laid off...or volunteered to be laid off, took my severance and was off to the next builder/developer...I hated this job. Every day going to work I would say to myself "what are you doing...you can't keep doing this..." but I made a good salary for someone 29 and no college degree.

After being laid off from this position the President who was at the Home Building company I was at was now President at a new company and wanted me to join as the Closing Manager, I took the position as it was more money than I was making and needed to pay the bills. However we are suffering...in Florida with the number of foreclosures and pricing being at an all time low; let's face it...people aren't falling at our feet for homes...so it leaves me to square one...what the F@%* do I want to do?

I love fashion, always have always will. Let's face it...that industry is fierce. Not to say I can't "hang" but where do I start...how do I get started? Do I want to be a personal shopper, do I want to me a buyer for a major department store? I love dressing up, I love clothes, shoes, accessories...so I am sitting here wishing...where to go next?

I instill in my son to get good grades. I explain that he can do whatever he wants to do and with an education he will have the world at his feet. I explain that this is not what I set out in life to do but kinda got stuck and want him to pursue his dreams. But this still leaves me with "practice what you preach"...HELP ME LORD! Is it too late to say "What do I want to be when I grow up"?