Randomness

Tonight after work I am going to a focus group. Here I will give my opinion on a topic and leave with CASH in my hand...$80 cash. They have drawing 15 minutes prior to the start for those who arrived on time so I have the chance to win an extra $20. Hmmm...what shall I buy with my $80...or possibly $100?

In other news Zman got all A's and one B on his report card Friday. He is the smart one in our family. We are very proud of him!!! I always tell him we only accept A's (calm down, he knows we will do whatever it takes for him to excel if he is having trouble) because I want him to work hard and not settle for less than he deserves. In doing so he realized on his own that he needed to study more...without us telling him.

Last year one of his girl friends Dary got her report and as we were walking home I asked Zman what he got on his report card...he told me "all A's". And then I asked Dary "what did you get" she replies "some A's, some B's and a few C's". I then shout "what C's?" and she procedes to tell me "at least they are not F's".

Later that night I was talking to Zman and I explained how some kids settle and they look at it like "well a C is better than an F" which it is but then it's easier to settle instead of working harder.

Soooooo who shows up to play Friday night; Dary. When she was leaving I said "Dary what did you get on your report card?" "straight A's" she said. "I am so proud of you" I said to her and she said "thank you" and funny thing is she remembered our conversation last year about the C's.

Afterward Zman seemed a little jealous.

Zman-Wow you are really proud of Dary aren't you.

Me-yes; she worked hard.

Zman-Are you more proud than me?

Me-Of course not; you are an excellent student and I am very proud of you. But I will be proud of your friends too for working hard.

Zman-Yeah ok.

He always gets rewarded with a good report card; I wonder what he will be picking out...probably a new video game!

Rock Band...What Have You Done?

We are in the car on our way to dinner...

Love-Dad can we wisten to Rock Band songs? (and she pronounces Rock Band perfectly)

Dad-Not now.

Love-Lata? Afta your song is ova?

(Now mind you this is just a glimpse of the conversation; I think she asked him 5 times and all 5 times he said not now; later...but Love doesn't accept no for an answer when she has her mind set on something. So she did what she knows to do; she doesn't ask another question, she just tells you what is going to happen).

2 minutes later

Love-Dad It my turn now

What she is referring to is Nirvana songs...Hubby has had the CD and since Zman is all into Rock Band and now learning how to play his electric guitar he got for Christmas; my Bro is teaching him how to play these songs on his guitar. So this is all Love hears.

I just have to laugh out loud when I turn around and see my almost 4 year old (she turns 4 on Valentines Day and Zman turns 10 two days after that) requesting the music is turned up as loud as it can go...shouting out...

Monkey see, monkey do
I don't know why I'd - rather be dead than cool
I don't know why - every line ends in rhyme
I don't know why - less is more, love is blind
I don't know why

Stay...Stay Away....(repeat 3x)

And while she is shouting out these tunes to the best of her ability and making up words that she doesn't quite understand (she gets this from me when I sing) she is pretending to strum on her guitar just as her big brother is doing right next to her.

Later that evening when we get home Zman started to pull out the Rock Band equipment. I told him they wouldn't be playing as I was going to relax and watch TV. He said Ok and started to put the stuff back and here comes Love "Ahhh Man".

Zman is the easier child. He accepts the answer and moves on. He may not understand or agree but normally he doesn't push the issue but now he has a partner in crime. He has Love figured out and us too...So if he wants something that we have already said no to, he puts his lil sister up to it as he knows she is relentless and will wear us down.

You Can Hear A Pin Drop While Waiting For My LightBulb Moment

Hubby went back to work today; I have the day off and have been lounging around with the kids. They went upstairs a few hours ago to take a nap and it's just me and Brutus. No tv on, no music, just the sound of me typing this post.

It's given me some time to really think about what I want in this new year. I am thinking about going back to school...perhaps; if I can figure out what I wanna do when I grow up. I think it's about time; I'm 31 and I kind of fell into my real estate career when I was 16. It's definately not something I set out in life to do; somethings we don't plan they just happen right? But I want to look back and say; this is what I want to do.

I am really going to dig deep over the next fews days and try and figure it out. Wish me luck!

My Point of View

Sometimes when we get married and have children we forget who "we" are or who "we" were.We neglect ourselves, our friends and we concentrate solely on being a "mom". Sex sometimes falls by the wayside because we are just "too tired" to make love or spend the quality one on one time with our husband.

I met my husband when I was 19; he being 28. We met, fell in love, had Zman and got married 9 months later. We didn't have the honeymoon period or get to travel and enjoy just being husband and wife but it was ok. We had a beautiful son and we had our family.

However we still had "our time". We hired a babysitter or had grandma babysit when we wanted to get away for a few hours. When we were home Zman was in bed by 8pm. This was our time to be alone together; to be husband and wife and reflect on our day, our struggles, our desires and truly be with each other.

When we had Love 6 years later we maintained the same structure. Both kids in their room by 8pm as this was our time. Now don't get me wrong there have been exceptions...that is where Hubby comes in. He is spontaneous, he would wake Love up at 2am to watch tv or wake Zman up after I have gone to bed to play video games and this was their one on one time.

Each child is different in their own way and they have different personalities. It's important that I spend time with just Zman and times I spend time with just Love...my husband does the same thing.

Now we like any other couple have had our ups and downs and believe me we have had some downs! But it's how you make it through the situation that makes you the stronger couple that you are.

A few years ago we were having a difficult time communicating. We were arguing over silly things and one not wanting to be the first to apologize to the other so we sought counseling.

The counselor was amazed to meet us (I'm not kidding folks). He said that more times than not couples seek counseling when they are on the verge of divorce and he could tell that we were very much in love and had great children but were struggling in the communication department.

We discovered throughout our sessions that we thrived in chaos due to our upbringings. We thrived in chaotic environments. Hence that is why I am in the field I am in dealing with conflict everyday and Hubby is a stockbroker dealing with the everyday ups and downs of the market. (Strange how you end up in a career that kind of suits your personality).

One thing he made clear to us and stressed was the 2 most important things in a marriage were; a babysitter and another couple.

A babysitter to watch over the kids so we have our alone time to be a couple and another couple to have fun times with. Girl time and guy time is also very important because you need to be able to get away your girlfriends and let loose and have a great time. What a great feeling being able to go out with your girlfriends and then coming home to a wonderful husband and kids who support you still being "yourself". Or hubby going out and having beers with the guys or playing golf.

We never lose sight of this. We don't feel guilty getting our kids a babysitter or having them stay over grandmas house for a weekend because we know the end result will be that it makes us better parents to our kids.

They will be raised knowing that their parents love each other more than anything and we want nothing to provide them a loving home with parents who love them.

I post this because I know a lot of couples who forget they were once a couple. They don't go out with each other and they spend all their time with their kids. I am not saying this is wrong but it's not a healthy thing to teach your kids. You need to have independence and be who you are while maintaining balance and being a wonderful parent to your kids.

Reflections

Tonight I had happy hour with one of my girlfriends I don't get to hang out with very much. Even though she lives 20 minutes away we get caught up in our daily lives and don't get to see each other very often.

While we were having drinks she was telling me about her recent break up with her live in boyfriend of many years. And she started telling me what her perspective was on what went sour in the relationship or how they grew apart. And then the topic of insecurities came up. I had no idea she had any. I know that is naive because everyone does but it was an "ah ha" moment.

It made me reflect on my own life. I am truly where I am supposed to be right now. Even though I am not the skinniest girl, or the prettiest (I am pretty HOT though) girl, or I may not have as much money as the next person. I am where I am supposed to be right now. I have love with my best friend who I am lucky to also call my husband. We are coming up on our 10 year anniversary next year and we are more in LOVE today than we were then. I truly love this man for putting up with me and my quirks. I have great kids who love each other so much. And we have our health but most of all we are truly a "family".

Sometimes in life you meet people who seem to be "put together" but you never really know what that person has going on in their own life.

Life is what you make of it.

LIVE LAUGH LOVE Right Steph ?

Happy Anniversary Baby!!!

In light of my 9 year anniversary to my Hubby; 20 reasons why I love him:

1. He always makes me feel beautiful.

2. We have so much fun together no matter what...we could be watching paint dry and we would have a good time!

3. He is the best father to our kids...emotionally and physically connected to them. I love seeing him interacting with them.

4. He is hysterically funny!

5. He is very smart...he knows about a lot of shit...seriously if I have a question I just ask him. He says it was all the research he did while being a kid; he never took something for face value he would look it up to find the answer and not just believe it because someone told him so.
(You would think I would do this...nope I just ask him)

6. He is very sexy!

7. He always wants to make me happy! His motto "if mom ain't happy, nobody is happy"

8. He is selfless; he always puts others before himself.

9. He is a very forgiving person.

10. He overlooks all my faults...even my cooking!

11. I love the way he makes love to me.

12. He always helps me when I say "baby I need your help". Even if he just sat down or just got comfortable.

13. He always encourages me to have "Girl Time". He is not the jealous type rather feels flattered when men try to flirt with me.

14. He is always surprising me.

15. He is an awesome cook.

16. He never turns me down when I ask for a rub or a massage...despite the fact he hasn't received one in months!

17. He is always eager to help others.

18. I love it when he calls me "Baby girl" or "Sexy Baby".

19. He is very determined and never gives up.

20. Most of all, he is my best friend!!!